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The Garden has been watered

The storm outside was roaring! I could hear the winds so loud!

As I walked through that dark endless room, the ancient pine floors glared haunting pumpkin smiles with each strike of lightning shining in from the large windows. My cats were there, including my adored white Persian that passed away last year, I saw him standing by my side as if he had never left.

A stranger passed by complaining I didn’t care for my cats, that they had vomited on the floors. I picked up a roll of paper towels and went on to lecture the stranger on the importance of my cats not only in my life but in my ancestor’s lives as well. Then I proceeded to go clean the floors but to my surprise, as I looked, I found nothing to clean. Uncertain of what to do next, I heard a voice. My younger brother said:

“Look at who is doing the cleaning!”

I turned around and I look at the edges of the room with its many large windows. The storm is still raging outside. I see a few cat litter boxes on the floor against the walls, below the windows. I look to my right and there at the farthest bright corner of the room, I see a woman pushing the water out of the room with a broom, almost as fast as it was coming in. She works hard. She doesn’t stop. She keeps on pushing the water out. There seems to be no respite from her task at hand. She endures. I come close. I recognize her. It’s my dead grandmother.

She stops to greet me. I look at her familiar face, she is all wet from the storm. I touch her hair and I tell her: “I love you so much!”

She starts talking very fast in Portuguese and I tell myself that I need to listen and to pay attention and to remember! I must remember later what she tells me now! Suddenly, I’m aware of my own predicament and I tell her: “I’m afraid I will be dying soon”. To which she replies: “It’s all done. It’s all been watered.” (Está tudo feito. Está tudo regado.)

She uses the word in Portuguese for watered: regado, from the verb regar, which translates to watering plants in a garden. She means that the garden has been watered, all is done. There is nothing left for me to do. Is that it? She looked at me with love as she spoke. I felt peace. I felt that my mission had been accomplished. There is nothing to worry about, to enjoy what is left of my life. Only yesterday I was concerned about not leaving a legacy behind, about not having accomplished much in life. But now I feel calm, there is finally serenity in my heart. And that’s maybe truly all that matters at the end.

What about all the water she kept pushing out? She was keeping the storm from coming in. She is protecting me as she had always done, as in life as in death.

The garden has been watered…

After she spoke to me, I woke up crying. It was a dream I dreamt this morning. The dead speak to us in our dreams but we don’t always remember. Today I cried all day.

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